My biggest learning at 23, after working on 2 startups which 90% of you will definitely make:
Avoid it.
When you’re young and in charge, your instinct is to prove yourself.
You think: “If I’m the leader, I need to be the loudest voice in the room.”
That was me.
I was running a fraternity chapter. Building Closet Compass. Leading product squads at nSpire AI.
And in almost every situation, I was leading people older and more experienced than me.
At first, I thought the way to win respect was to dictate.
Tell people what needs to be done. Push hard. Set the tone.
But here’s the truth: leadership isn’t about having all the answers.
It’s about knowing your people.
Who thrives under pressure.
Who needs space to create.
Who can be trusted to figure it out without you hovering.
The second I stopped trying to be the “boss” and started empathizing with my teammates, everything changed.
People didn’t just follow instructions — they took ownership.
They felt seen.
They pushed harder because they wanted to, not because I told them to.
That’s when it clicked:
Leadership isn’t about control. It’s about selection.
Pick the right people.
Trust them.
Empower them.
That’s how you stand apart, especially when you’re 23 and the least experienced in the room.
I wish I learned that earlier. Would’ve saved me a lot of trial and error.
What about you? What’s one leadership lesson you wish you learned earlier?